What is your money story? Understanding Your Financial Beliefs and Where They Come From
Main points, no filter:
✅ Your “money story” is your history with money — shaped by your family, culture, and lived experiences (even the weird basket parties your mom hosted).
✅ You’ve been collecting money beliefs like knickknacks on a shelf: some you chose, some were just handed to you, and others are so dusty you forgot they were even there.
✅ Big life moments = money moments. First job, first car, college, rent, buying a home, negotiating salary — all of it shaped your beliefs about money and your own worth.
✅ Time to Marie Kondo your money beliefs. Ask: Does this belief actually help me? Does it reflect who I am now? Or is it old, outdated, and low-key messing me up?
✅ You can’t change where you started, but you can rewrite your story. Ditch the stuff that doesn’t serve you and make space for what does.
✅ Ready to talk money without the shame spiral? Covington Alsina’s “Women, Wine, and Wisdom” is where the real, relatable money convos are happening.
✅ Therapy helps too. If your money story’s tangled up with anxiety, guilt, or inherited crap — let’s talk.
Intrigued? Keep reading
💭 What Is a Money Story?
The little interactions you have had with or about money both directly and indirectly throughout your life.
This includes:
your personal experiences with money
what your family has taught you about money
Messages from your culture, community, and environment
A lot of us don’t really think about how money has shaped us. It is one of those uncomfortable things that we choose not to actively think about, though it is present in so many choices and relationships each day.
🪞 How Do You Figure Out Your Money Story?
It takes reflection — and the right questions.
Author and educator Ellyce Fulmore uses the analogy of a bookshelf of knickknacks that you have collected over your life. The great thing is once you are aware of what is on your shelf, we can take items off and replace them with items that are more reflective of who you are as a person.
🧺 What’s on Your Bookshelf?
Let me share a quick story.
I grew up in the Home Interior, Longaberger Basket generation. I remember my mom going to parties or hosting at our house. The representative would have rolling suitcases packed with wall hangings, candles, sconces, ceramic figures. She would unpack these items piece by piece and expertly arrange them on folding tables that were lugged in from her car. She would have all these decorations on display for guests to fawn over. The ladies would have conversations about where they would put them in their houses as the other ladies nodded approvingly.
I was a kid observing these transactions. I never could quite figure out the appeal of the Home Interior and Longaberger baskets, but these women just gobbled this stuff up.
🧠 Reflecting on Your Money Memories
As you think about your money story and what items would be on your shelf, think of it as a curated collection of things that influence you. Some of these items are the leftover home interior stuff that your mom so thoughtfully endowed upon you and other items are unique to you. Some of those items have been on your shelf so long they just kind of blend into the surroundings. They might be covered in dust, shoved into the back completely blocked by newer items.
The old dusty knickknacks.
Think of your earliest memories about money. Ask yourself:
Do you remember your parents having conversations about finances?
What was your understanding about money?
Those who had it and those who didn’t?
When did you open a bank account?
Did you get money for gifts?
What did you do with it?
📌 Milestones and Money: The items that you collected along the way
When you look at the major milestones in your life up until now, how was money a part of those?
Did you get a driver’s license? What car did you drive and how did you come into that car? Your first job – how’d you get it?
Did you go to college? Who paid for it?
Did you live with your parents after high school?
Buy a home or renting? How did you afford that?
How did you choose what you do for work?
How many different jobs have you had and why did you switch jobs?
Have you negotiated for your salary?
How do you know your worth?
Each of these decisions added something to your shelf.
✨ Do These Beliefs Spark Joy?
As you look at your collection of gadgets and gizmos aplenty.
What do these items mean to you?
Are the cemented to the shelf?
Can you pick them up and hold them in your hand or do they cut like rusty razor blades?
Marie Kondo started a decluttering revolution with the phrase “spark joy”. Her approach to tidying up is to hold each of your possessions in your hand and see if that item sparks joy in your heart. If it doesn’t, you can let it go.
So, if we look at these beliefs you hold about money, are they helpful? Are they accurate? Are they representative of who you are and are they in line with your values? Do these beliefs spark joy in your heart or make you squirm with discomfort?
What would it take to remove some of these items from your shelf? Shedding identities that no longer serve you. What would it be like to have room for something truly meaningful to you?
📝 Rewriting Your Money Story
We were born into certain identities that we cannot change. We do not have control over the hand we were dealt. What we can change is what we do with those identities, how we play our cards and what table games we sit down to.
🍷 Ready to Talk About It?
Covington Alsina has a monthly event called Women, Wine, and Wisdom. I went to the first event of the year in February. We had snacks and chatted about money. The more you listen and learn the more you may find that your money story may have pieces that don’t fit or are just outright wrong.
As you are holding the items on your shelf and seeing if they spark joy, you might realize there is some room on your shelf for something different. Empower yourself with wisdom from people who talk about money in a way that is relatable. The financial experts at Covington Alsina are unicorns.
Check out the event page here and follow Covington Alsina on the socials to get more language and knowledge about money and wealth.
Want to explore your money mindset in therapy? Schedule a consultation, and let’s see if we’re a good fit.