Does couple therapy actually work?
My fear as a therapist was that couple therapy would be watching two people argue with each other about who is right and who is wrong. In reality, couple therapy is not about hearing the facts and determining who is right. My job is to be sure each person is being heard.
I use a solution based approach which means we:
Figure out what works and do more of thatFigure out what doesn't work and do less of thatFigure out what the ideal is and how each person's contributions move toward or away from that idealDoes couple therapy lead to divorce?
Sometimes the solution is that the relationship no longer serves one or both of you. This is hard to hear. This is sad. There will be grieving for both of you. When this is the case, we work together collaboratively to end the relationship respectfully.
The Story I'm Making Up...
I have found this phrase to be very useful in therapy, especially for couples. Both partners come into the relationship with a history that shapes their present narrative. Sometimes this phrase is a way to communicate how you are feeling without the other person getting defensive. Part of being heard is speaking in a way that your partner can hear.
Is couple therapy covered by insurance?
I do not submit claims to the insurance company for couple therapy. Submitting claims requires a mental health diagnosis and an identified patient. In couple therapy, the couple is the patient. It would be counterintuitive to identify one part of the couple as the identified patient.
My rate for couple therapy is $175/hr